Attachment Parenting
I don’t know if you’ve noticed but parenting now has become a science. Back in the day, you were born however you came, wrapped up in whatever was accessible, held in arms on your way home from the hospital or in case of a home birth you continued on about your business. No frill, no fuss and definitely no science. Times have changed, some things for the better and some are just too much!Today, I practice some form of attachment parenting.
What is attachment parenting you may ask?
According to wikipedia:
Attachment parenting, a phrase coined by pediatrician William Sears, is a parenting philosophy based on the principles of attachment theory in developmental psychology. According to attachment theory, the child forms a strong emotional bond with caregivers during childhood with lifelong consequences.
7 Attachment Parenting Tools: The Baby B’s
Attachment parenting is a style of caring for your infant that brings out the best in the baby and the best in the parents. Learn how attachment parenting babies grow up happier and healthier with these 7 practices.
1. Birth bonding
The way baby and parents get started with one another helps the early attachment unfold. The days and weeks after birth are a sensitive period in which mothers and babies are uniquely primed to want to be close to one another. A close attachment after birth and beyond allows the natural, biological attachment-promoting behaviors of the infant and the intuitive, biological, care-giving qualities of the mother to come together. Both members of this biological pair get off to the right start at a time when the infant is most needy and the mother is most ready to nurture (see Bonding)
“What if something happens to prevent our immediate bonding?”
Sometimes medical complications keep you and your baby apart for a while, but then catch-up bonding is what happens, starting as soon as possible. When the concept of bonding was first delivered onto the parenting scene twenty years ago, some people got it out of balance. The concept of human bonding being an absolute “critical period” or a “now-or-never” relationship was never intended. Birth bonding is not like instant glue that cements the mother-child relationship together forever. Bonding is a series of steps in your lifelong growing together with your child. Immediate bonding simply gives the relationship between parents and attachment parenting babies a head start. (See “Birth Bonding“)
2. Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is an exercise in baby reading. Breastfeeding helps you read your baby’s cues, her body language, which is the first step in getting to know your baby. Breastfeeding gives baby and mother a smart start in life. Breast milk contains unique brain-building nutrients that cannot be manufactured or bought. Breastfeeding promotes the right chemistry between mother and baby by stimulating your body to produce prolactin and oxytocin, hormones that give your mothering a boost.
3. Baby wearing
A baby learns a lot in the arms of a busy caregiver. Carried babies fuss less and spend more time in the state of quiet alertness, the behavior state in which babies learn most about their environment. Baby wearing improves the sensitivity of the parents because your baby is so close to you, you get to know baby better. Closeness promotes familiarity with attachment parenting babies.
4. Bedding close to baby
Wherever all family members get the best night’s sleep is the right arrangement for your individual family. Co-sleeping adds a nighttime touch that helps busy daytime parents reconnect with their infant at night. Since nighttime is a scary time for little people, sleeping within close touching and nursing distance minimizes nighttime separation anxiety and helps attachment parenting babies learn that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a fearless state to remain in.
5. Belief in the language value of your baby’s cry
A baby’s cry is a signal designed for the survival of the baby and the development of the parents. Responding sensitively to your baby’s cries builds trust. Babies trust that their caregivers will be responsive to their needs. Parents gradually learn to trust in their ability to appropriately meet their baby’s needs. This raises the parent-child communication level up a notch. Tiny attachment parenting babies cry to communicate, not to manipulate. (See Crying and Cry it Out)
6. Beware of Baby Trainers
Attachment parenting teaches you how to be discerning of advice, especially those rigid and extreme parenting styles that teach you to watch a clock or a schedule instead of your baby; you know, the cry-it-out crowd. This “convenience” parenting is a short-term gain, but a long-term loss, and is not a wise investment. These more restrained styles of parenting create a distance between you and your baby and keep you from becoming an expert in your child.
7. Balance
In your zeal to give so much to your baby, it’s easy to neglect the needs of yourself and your marriage. As you will learn the key to putting balance in your parenting is being appropriately responsive to your baby – knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no,” and having the wisdom to say “yes” to yourself when you need help.
Source: www.askdrsears.com
I’m a big believer in this form of parenting. Our babies are only babies for a brief moment and creating that bond and trust between parent and child is a stepping stone to raising a happy, secure, and balanced adult. Only thing I no longer do out of this list is breastfeed, which is an unfortunate thing I would have like to at least have reached a 1 year breastfeeding milestone but really extended breastfeeding is what I would have wanted, the WHO (World Health Organization) recommendation is up until 2 years old.
Finding the balance between caring for baby, yourself, your spouse and your home is the tricky part. But it’s something I strive to achieve daily. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose but with those victories or defeats I’m always growing as an individual, a mother, a lover and friend.
Interested in learning more about Attachment Parenting? Click here.
What about you? Has your view of parenting changed? Do you parent how you thought you would? Let me know in the comments below.
É verdade né, muita coisa mudou com o tempo…nossa época era tudo mais simplificado!
Acho que tem coisas que eu sou bem diferente do que imaginava e outras como eu pensei mesmo…
Curto alguns pontos da criação com apego, como o contato pele a pele com o bebê e a maneira de trazê-lo ao mundo, a questão da amamentação no peito (que foi uma das coisas que eu fiz diferente do que imaginava), o respeito pela criança… mas eu discordo de alguns outros pontos. Como toda teoria humanista, acho que ela pode ir de choque com os princípios bíblicos por colocar a criança como o centro de tudo, e apesar de ser bonito e tudo mais, o evangelho nos ensina de modo diferente, mesmo que a princípio pareça uma loucura. Disciplinar filhos a luz do mundo é algo cruel, infeliz e que vai gerar adultos frustrados. A luz da bíblia e a salvação da alma deles do inferno e algo que gera frutos de arrependimento, adultos maduros, centrados e que conhecem o senhorio de Cristo. Apesar de fazer parte do Cry it out crowd, tudo tem um equilibrio. A criança não precisa chorar o dia inteiro abandonada no berço…existem necessidades reais (físicas e emocionais) e não necessidades…peço sempre a Deus discernimento para saber a hora de intervir e a hora de não intervir…É difícil, né? Nem sempre a gente acerta em tudo, mas é bom poder depender de Deus, me dá mais confiança.
As irmãs mais velhas aqui, me recomendaram um livro maravilhoso sobre crianção de filhos a luz da palavra, chama-se Shepherding a child´s heart – Tedd Tripp. Ele tem muita clareza do assunto, é totalmente bíblico e prático!
Beijos!!!
That's an interesting term; attachment parenting. I did some of the things you listed so I guess that makes me a semi-attachment parent?! As for the balance, it's a constant struggle. But I find that doing these attachment things early on does make for a confident, independent child later on. And your balance can shift again. Good, informative post!
I plan on sharing this with a few new mom's I know:)
Very interesting. I practice most of these ideas. I did extended breastfeeding and kept my babies close to me (bassinet) while sleeping.
Thank you for the great and easy to read definition in attachment parenting. Many nights of googling this term has often left me just as confused (if not more confused) then when I first started searching. Am a huge fan of baby wearing. I like keeping mine close to me. And it always makes me sad to just have him stuck in stroller instead on my level so he can see and I can talk to him. Will definitely share this with other newbie moms. Well done and very easy to read and practice.
Equilibrio is KEY mais as vezes dificil de se cumprir. All we can do is try our best. Vou dar uma olhada nesse livro. Gostava tanto de ler, but lately tudo q eu leio eh soh na net. ai ai..vou ficar burrinha desse jeito.
Beijoss!
Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you so much! We all have some sort of attachment parenting in us somewhere.
That's so awesome. I wish I was still breastfeeding, I miss it so much.
Thank you for your input. I truly appreciate it.